


infinite capacity

by A Magiluna Stormwriter (ariestess)



Series: InspiredByOQ 2018 [3]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Established Relationship, F/M, Family Drama, Family Issues, Fix-It, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Inspired by OQ week, Inspired by Outlaw Queen Week, Mild Language, Multi, Past Child Abuse, Swearing, Threesome - F/F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-19
Updated: 2018-09-19
Packaged: 2019-07-14 05:44:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,864
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16034192
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ariestess/pseuds/A%20Magiluna%20Stormwriter
Summary: "I meant it when I said I loveallof you, Regina.  If that means both halves in one body or in two, I don't care.  I want you to be happy,bothof you."A fic inspired by thismanipby starscythe.





	infinite capacity

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Starscythe_j](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Starscythe_j/gifts).



> Pairing: Regina/Robin/Queenie  
> Date Written: 31 August - 18 September 2018  
> Word Count: 3864  
> Written for: InspiredByOQ 2018  
> Recipient: starscythe  
> Prompt: This [manip](https://twitter.com/starscythe/status/922403794448773121)  
> Summary: "I meant it when I said I love _all_ of you, Regina. If that means both halves in one body or in two, I don't care. I want you to be happy, _both_ of you."  
>  Spoilers: Canon divergent AU set nebulously a few weeks after the S5 finale when the Split Queen arc began, but there are extenuating circumstances surrounding Robin's death. That said, everything we know about all of these characters is up for grabs.  
> Warnings: Mentions of past child abuse, physical and emotional.  
> Website: ShatterStorm Productions – Doggie Duo  
> Link to: http://bdkk.shatterstorm.net/  
> Archive: ShatterStorm Productions & AO3 only…all others ask for permission & we'll see…  
> Feedback: Constructive criticism is always welcome.
> 
> Author’s Disclaimer: "Once Upon a Time," the characters, and situations depicted are the property of Adam Horowitz, Edward Kitsis, Kitsis/Horowitz, and ABC Studios. This piece of fan fiction was created for entertainment not monetary purposes. Previously unrecognized characters and places, and this story, are copyrighted to the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author. This site is in no way affiliated with "Once Upon a Time," ABC, or any representatives of the actors.
> 
> Author’s Notes: I've had this manip sitting in my "to write" folder for nearly a year now. Just never found the opportunity to write for it, but it's always given my dirty brain kinky triad ideas. And then when I started writing it, my second project for this week, my angsty muses took over. I was worried that this wouldn't ever end, but in the long run, my muses took a little pity on me. I have no idea if this will be a oneshot or develop into a full verse yet, but either way, I love the dynamics at play here…
> 
> My initial thought for a title was "Three Become One", based on a kind of throwaway line by Alan Cumming in _Spice World_. The actual title is from the Naima Infinity  & Be Steady song "Can't Help But Fly (the Poly Song)", which can be found [here](https://climbingpoetree.bandcamp.com/track/cant-help-but-fly-the-poly-song).
> 
> Dedication: My muses, as usual…
> 
> Beta: Many thanks to Jess for her beta eyes on this one.

"the infinite capacity  
of each of us to happily  
surrender to the majesty  
of learning love's true mastery"  
\-- Naima Infinity & Be Steady, "Can't Help But Fly (the Poly Song)"

 

"Ahh, there you are."

Startled to hear that cherished voice again, I stop dead in my tracks, unable to turn around for fear of this all being some sort of hallucination. His reaction to my recent actions… I've done my best to keep to his request for space and time.

"It's all right, dear." 

That voice is also familiar, and not one that I want to hear in concert with the first. But when have I ever truly gotten what I wanted in life? 

"You'd think that you'd learn to roll with the punches better, dear. We always did fare better at that before you separated us and tried to kill me."

Hands curling into tight fists, the need to unleash a fireball on her burns through my veins. That she's anywhere near my soulmate when I'm not allowed to be unless he initiates contact rankles and leaves a newly festering wound in my chest.

"Gina?" That soft voice cuts through the anger. His tiny, chilled hands wrap around one of mine, grounding me in the moment. "I-- Can I give you a hug? Hugs always make me feel better."

He's upset. Oh gods, my little knight is upset about something, and I'm focusing on my own problems. What kind of parent am I? Taking a deep breath, I force my eyes open to meet his fearful gaze. The thought of him upset douses any fire still raging in me, and my hand goes slack enough to let him grip my fingers lightly. Ignoring the faint creak in my knees as I kneel to meet his gaze openly, I smile and say, "You can always give me hugs, Roland."

He takes my words as permission and latches himself onto my body, arms wrapping tightly around my neck. It only takes a few seconds to feel the hot wetness of tears on my skin. Worry grips my heart, and I look up to Robin and Queenie, eyes narrowing as I gaze at the latter, certain that she's involved somehow. That's when I notice Henry standing close enough to Queenie to touch her arm.

"Shh, it's okay, handsome," I murmur, rubbing Roland's back, still staring balefully at my other half. "You're okay now, you're safe. Just tell me what happened."

"Regina, I--"

"No, Robin," I say, voice still in that same soothing tone that Roland needs. "I need to hear it from Roland." Pressing a kiss to his messy curls, I continue to rub his back. "It's okay, Roland."

His words come out in fits and starts, sometimes choked off by a sudden sob or hiccup, sometimes garbled by his face being pressed against my skin. A mother's patience settles over me as he speaks, carefully taking his fragmented thoughts and building a more cohesive whole with each passing second. My eyes steal to the other three people standing before us, each wearing their own version of a pained expression, even my darker half. That gives me pause, not expecting her to feel something so deeply for the little boy in my arms.

"But I don't wanna give you up," Roland finally says, the final word drawn out on a wail.

That slaps bands of fear and anger around my heart, squeezing tightly until I can barely breathe. But I force myself to remain as calm as possible for this little boy's sake, all the while glaring at Robin and Queenie. Thankfully, both have the good grace to look sheepish and repentant in the wake of his story.

"Who said you have to give me up, Roland?"

"N-No one, b-but P-Papa was k-kissing _her_. She's n-not you, Gina." 

And he dissolves into heart wrenching tears that I only barely stave off in myself. His revelation rocks me to my core, and only the little boy attached to me keeps me from poofing away from this place and these people.

"Regina, I--"

" _No!_ "

"Dear, let us ex--"

"Oh, you'll explain all right, _dear_ ," I say with a low growl. "But not here and not until I've calmed Roland down. He is my first priority here, as he should be for you as well, Robin."

It takes more than I care to admit to ignore the two of them, but the need to assuage Roland's heartbreak and fear overrides everything else. Poofing up a small stool to sit on, I pull him into my lap and start to rock as soon as he snuggles close into my chest. His cries slowly die down to soft whimpers, suddenly punctuated by a jaw-cracking yawn, after which his body sags against mine in that age old way that sleepy children have. It won't be long before he succumbs to slumber now, and there's a small part of me that wants to pinch him to keep him up and upset, just so that I don't have to deal with my other half and my soulmate yet.

"Let me take him home, Regina," Robin says softly after a moment or two more of blessed silence. "He's clearly asleep and should be in his bed."

I don't want to let go of him, but Robin is right. Pressing a gentle kiss to Roland's hair, I relinquish him to his father, a jolt of connection blasting through me at the simple brush of our hands in the process. It takes everything in me not to react, but I will keep my promise to him if it kills me. If he feels that same jolt, the only visible reaction I see is a brief grimace on his face, which could easily be explained away by the odd angle at which he crouches to take his son from me. Once he straightens again and takes a step back, I shift to get up and get rid of the stool. In the process, I sense the subtle buzz of magic in concert with my own. Turning around, I'm left face to face with my darker twin. Even Henry is gone.

"Where are they, Queenie?" I growl. "And if you've hurt any of them, I'll crush your heart again and spread the ashes in every realm I can find. I guarantee you'll never come back from that."

She laughs then, a bright, brassy sound I remember from our days of enforced bravado, but there's an undercurrent of sadness I never expected out of her. "For wanting to be forever separated from our darker tendencies, you certainly have a bloodthirsty penchant where I'm concerned, Regina dear. One might think that you miss my influence."

"Hardly. I never wanted to be you and now, thanks to Jekyll's serum, I never have to be again. I can be the person I always wanted to be, unhindered by the darkness you revel in."

Her laugh is rueful this time, and there's a pinched look to her narrowed eyes, crow's feet standing out prominently. "The young girl who wanted to love and be loved in return never would have wanted what you want for me, Regina, and we both know that. This bloodlust you maintain for me was originally for Mother, and Leopold, and the imp. It poisoned your heart and created me. The fact that you still retain it despite our split only supports my theory that we need each other to be a whole and balanced person. You can't be a hero if you have such darkness harboring in your heart."

"So now _you_ want to be the hero then? Is that it?" Scoffing at her words, I turn to scan the woods, hoping against hope that Robin will make his way back here to… I don't even know what I want him to do if he returns. I just want my life to be back the way it was before all of this hell happened with Zelena and Hades and…

"You don't have to do this alone, you stupid girl," she grumbles, an odd note of affection in her tone. "Despite what you think, we're better as a team. Even our soulmate agrees on that."

That one word has me whirling around to face her, a sneer distorting my face as a fireball springs to life in my hand. "He is _not_ your soulmate. He is _mine_. You will never taint him with your darkness, or I will tear you apart down to your component atoms. Do you understand me, _witch_?"

Her right hand balls into a fist, and I brace for the fireball to come… But it never does. Eyebrows drawing together in confusion, I study her face long enough to see the strange parade of emotions, none lasting for longer than it takes me to register each of them before it's replaced by another. Her hand slowly unclenches, then moves up to rub at her forehead in a very familiar way. What in the hell is going on here?

"Of course, he's not going to come back," she mutters, just loud enough for me to hear her. "The coward is leaving this all up to me."

Shaking my head at the confusion that's doing nothing but create the beginnings of a migraine, I lift a hand to poof myself back home and away from all of this.

But nothing happens.

In fact, I find myself frozen in place, unable to move or break the spell she's put on me. "Let me go," I growl, trying to breathe through the fear and anxiety now creeping up my spine. Memories of Mother's punishments come to the forefront, my breaths going shallow until I feel positively faint. " _Now!_ "

"Not until we get a few things straight, dear," she replies in that soft voice that I usually reserve for Henry and Roland. Despite myself, I can feel some of the fear dissipating as she continues to speak. "I know you don't like this, but I need you to stay here and actually _listen_ to me, Regina. To both of us."

She eases the bonds encasing me slightly, just enough to breathe a bit easier, but not enough to move and escape. "Okay, so the witch comment maybe went too far," I finally say, but she doesn't answer me. In fact, she turns her back to me and starts to walk away, murmuring something too softly for me to hear. "Stop!" The fear bleeds out in my words, churns in my guts. "Please don't leave me like this."

She turns around to face me, understanding dawning in her eyes as she studies me. "I'm not going to leave you, Regina. When will you understand that? _You_ forced this separation, not me. I don't want it, I never did, but we both must desire the reintegration, regardless of what Jekyll or Hyde say, and you clearly have no desire to be whole again."

"I--"

"Let me finish. If you don't wish for full reintegration, there are other ways, but they are not as effective." She pauses long enough to flick her wrist with all the flair that the imp used to use. When the purple smoke dissipates, Robin is standing there. I see the moment he realizes that I'm immobilized, the anger flaring in those expressive blue eyes of his.

"What in the bloody hell have you done?" he asks, turning to stare at my darker half. "Release her at once! This is not what we talked about."

His words make my heart beat erratically. What does he mean? What do they have planned for me? Will I ever see Roland or Henry again? What if--

"Regina? Are you even listening to us?"

I blink and suck in a breath as the magical bonds tighten almost imperceptibly around me. My fear ratchets up again, body trembling as I try not to blubber. Mother's _Crying is weakness, Regina!_ echoes in my head. "I-- I'll be good, I promise."

Robin's mouth opens, but it's my darker half's voice I hear. "Regina, no, it's all right." 

The bonds holding me in place disappear suddenly and I find myself caught up in Robin's embrace, tears falling down my cheeks. "Shh," he murmurs, lips brushing against my temple. "I've got you, love. It's all right."

But it's the sensation of another body behind me, pressing soft curves into my back and trapping me between them, that makes me momentarily stiffen again. She strokes a hand down my side to grip my hip, grounding me in the present. "Just relax, Regina. No one's going to hurt you. I didn't mean to call up bad memories like that. You're safe, I promise."

Again, that soothing voice goes a long way to help alleviate the anxiety coursing along my nerves. My muscles are slow to react, but eventually they all relax until I'm being held up by the bodies on either side of me. The steady _thub-dub_ of Robin's heartbeat under my ear is a comfort I have feared I'd never hear again. Between Hades obliterating him from existence to discovering his return after that fateful trip to New York to being asked to give Robin space to deal with my decision to separate the Queen from myself, the last few weeks have been hell on my heart, soul, and mind. _I'm sorry._ The words echo over and over in my mind, tears falling harder until I can barely breathe.

And darkness overwhelms me.

>>>=====> <=====<<<

"Regina? Come on, love, wake up now."

His voice is soft, husky with emotion, and I shift to curl into his chest. The mattress dips under me, memory foam molding to my new position. That's when it hits me that we're no longer in the forest.

"Let her sleep, Robin." My darker half's voice is still behind me, just as it was in the forest before I lost consciousness. "I pushed too hard and may have ruined this for all of us. I'm sorry."

"I refuse to believe that this is ruined. She just needs time. You both do." He sighs softly, and his fingers card through my hair. "I'm just as much to blame as you. I told her I didn't want to see her, that I needed time to deal with what she'd done to you both. I've hated every second of it, but I wanted to understand her motivations, why she would want to exorcise her darkness, exorcise _you_. I love all of her, all of you both. I can't take sides. No one is perfectly good or perfectly evil, we all have both."

A harsh sob escapes me at his words, breaking my probably already failed ruse of still being asleep, but I can no longer contain the riot of emotions overwhelming me.

"Regina?"

"Please don't leave me," I whisper, but I don't know which one of them my words are intended for.

"No one's going to leave you," my darker half replies in that soothing tone again. 

I still don't understand how she can feel something so good so deeply when she got all of the… _Oh._ I grip Robin's shirt more tightly, still unable to look at either of them. "But Robin kissed you."

"Actually, I kissed him."

Her confession makes me turn to stare at her. "What?"

"I pursued him, despite his request that I give him space, too. I knew it was the wrong way to deal with things. And…" She meets my gaze openly, eyes only briefly flicking up to regard the man we both love. "And I'd hoped he'd help me convince you to merge again. I know that was wrong now, even if I prefer reintegration. When I heard how upset Roland was to see us kissing, it broke my heart. I would never intentionally upset him or Henry, and that's _your_ influence."

"But you did upset Roland." My cheeks darken in embarrassment. "And I don't think I have to tell you how much it hurt me to know that Robin was all right to kiss you, but not me."

"That was never the case, milady," Robin says softly. "I was taken completely unaware and I made sure to tell Her Majesty exactly what I thought of her tactics. Had I known Roland had seen us, I'd have made sure to reassure him sooner."

His eyes shine with unshed tears at the thought of upsetting his son. It further proves his sincerity to me. I stroke his cheek and offer a tentative kiss to his lips, grateful when he returns it. A soft sigh escapes me at how _right_ it feels to be with my soulmate again. He holds me close, our kiss deepening with the love that still flows between us. The sensation of fingers moving my hair aside to press lips to my neck is both startling and enjoyable. She presses her body to mine, still peppering kisses to my neck and shoulder as Robin kisses me. The sudden sensation of teeth scraping along the join of neck and shoulder elicits a low, wanton moan that startles the hell out of me.

"Wh-What's going on?" I stammer breathlessly, staring at Robin, then at my darker half.

"I think you know, dear, but if you need me to spell it out for you…" She simply smiles and shrugs, but I can see the faint flush to her cheeks.

Robin strokes my cheek, bringing my focus back to him. "Nothing happens that we all don't agree to, love."

"Y-You _want_ this, Robin?"

"I meant it when I said I love _all_ of you, Regina. If that means both halves in one body or in two, I don't care. I want you to be happy, _both_ of you."

There's a soft, knowing chuckle behind me. "Think of it, dear. You talk about wanting to love yourself, and now you can."

"But--"

"It's the ultimate in masturbation fantasies, don't you think?" The twinkle in her eye, the smirk curling up her lips, the teasing strokes of her fingers along my arm; each sensation pushes me toward the result they both clearly want. The longer I consider it, would it really be all that bad? "And who knows your body and what you want and need better than me? Even our thief doesn't know _all_ of our little triggers yet."

My own cheeks heat up then, and I chew on my bottom lip for a moment. "I-- I suppose. But what about the boys? And what about the fact that you used magic on me as a punishment when you, more than anyone else, know _exactly_ what kind of reaction you'd get out of me?"

Her smile drops, eyes closing with a heavy sigh. "That was unconscionable of me, dear, and I am so sorry that I forced those memories on you like that. I honestly didn't want you to leave before Robin and I could talk to you. I overreacted in my own right, and I deserve whatever punishment or retaliation you feel necessary and appropriate."

I shake my head, unsure how to respond. Thankfully Robin steps in to help us begin to move past this. "Perhaps this is something we could speak with Dr. Hopper about? You both have issues you need to deal with, and so do I. I'm willing to work on those issues together if the two of you are, _particularly_ if you choose not to reintegrate into a single body again."

"I--"

"Regina, think about it," she says, cutting me off. "We've already seen the bug before. He knows some of our issues and, as much as I hate to admit it, he did help us before."

That makes me smile and stroke her cheek gently, the sensation still odd, but comforting. "You can't call him _bug_ if you're going to seek his assistance in resolving our issues and traumas."

"Fine," she says, rolling her eyes, but there's the faintest hint of a smile. "And I will personally apologize to Roland for upsetting him. Henry, too, if he's upset." Her smile grows slightly. "Then again, Henry kept talking about Operation Second Chances, so…"

"He didn't!"

"He did. You can even ask Robin."

When I turn to look at our soulmate, he's nodding and chuckling. "The lad was adamant that I give both of you a chance to explain yourselves. I just never expected to be caught up in one of his operations. Not that I'm upset by it, of course."

"Of course." I lean in to gently buss his lips, then turn to look at my darker half. "You need a name. Both of us answering to Regina is going to get confusing."

"Why don't we let the boys decide?" she asks, then lets out a squeak as I finally kiss her. She purrs into the kiss, nipping at my bottom lip until I moan. "Mmm, do you think we can wait until the morning to talk to the boys? I'd rather like to explore this new dynamic for us a little more tonight."

Robin chuckles again. "Given that Roland's fast asleep in his bed down the hall--"

"He is?" This revelation hits hard. Roland, my sweet little knight, is in his bed here in the mansion. He's _home_. My darker half made sure that Robin and the boys were brought here, as if she knew how things would work out. I narrow my eyes as I study her face. "You planned this, didn't you?"

"Not exactly, no, but I hoped it would work out, dear. And Robin's absolutely right. Complete agreement or things don't happen. And I'd like to include the boys in some of those decisions. They're part of our family and deserve to be given some say in how this family proceeds."

I start to answer, but a yawn overwhelms me. Both Robin and my darker half laugh knowingly. The sensation of our magic surrounds me, leaving me changed into my most comfortable pajamas. A quick glance to either side reveals my bedmates are also in sleepwear.

"Rest now, love," Robin says softly as I snuggle into his chest. "We'll talk more in the morning, but for now, we should sleep."

"But it's so earl--" Another yawn cuts off my words, and I blush hotly. "Okay, fine, I suppose a little extra sleep couldn't hurt tonight." I turn to waggle a finger at my darker half. "And no funny business, _dear_. I'd, um, I'd like to hold off on anything more than what we've already done today until after we've discussed things a little more and set some boundaries."

She smiles and brushes her lips against mine. "I promise I can behave until we're all ready for the next step."

"So can I," Robin replies, lips pressing to my temple. "And now, I must insist that we all get some rest. The boys will likely be up early and have questions that need answers. I know I can't properly answer them without some sleep." He grins sheepishly. "And I haven't been sleeping very well since I stupidly requested some space from you both."

"It wasn't stupid, Robin," she replies. "It was what you needed, and it's allowed us to get to this point."


End file.
